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Loss of a Great Friend

 

Jan Kucker      a psychic who shows YOU                                                   the art of empowering your heart & soul

  707.579.4809  Land line - receives texting                          Email me at: wingsofangels@JanKucker.com  

 

One of my intuitive fortes is reconnecting loved ones who've passed with those who are left behind. It doesn't matter if your mom, dad, brother, sister, partner or friend has been gone for one month or 40 years. I can help you reconnect with them and allow your heart to heal.

 

Kaye Martens and I have been the best of friends for over 20 years. Back in 1987 Kaye introduced me to the study of Feng Shui, the Chinese art of placement for creating harmony in the home, while I introduced her to my psychic abilities. Together we shared a lifetime of wonderful spiritual journeys and lots of laughter.

Kaye's rapidly declining health took me, her family and friends by great surprise. What she originally thought was painful sciatica, which inhibited her from walking, turned out to be fourth stage cancer of the liver, gallbladder and pancreas.

From the time Kaye was informed of her diagnosis to her death was only a mere three weeks. 

Her son, Darrell, said, "I know when my mom goes into the hospital it will be the end; she'll never come out."  His intuition was so right.

It was only four days before her death that the pain became too much for Kaye's beautiful body to endure and she was admitted to the hospital.

I decided not to visit Kaye on Monday. I was too exhausted from spending the entire day at the hospital with her on Sunday and I knew her friend Carol Lyn and friends and family would visit her and keep her company.

On Tuesday morning I went to see my beloved friend and saw that death was written all over her face. I could see in her eyes thatl she had no life force left in her body.

I tried to muster up all the strength I had left in me to put on a happy face. We talked and shared old times and laughed, but at times it was too much for my friend to even attempt to laugh.

Then she asked me for a favor, "You see those rubber gloves in those boxes on the wall that I've been staring at all day?"

"Yeah, I see them," I replied.

"Well the two on the bottom have the center cutouts and they resemble smiley faces, but the one on top looks like a frown. It's been driving me nuts. Could you turn the top one so it has a smiley face too?"

Only we could understand the meaning behind that. "You know I wouldn't think you were nuts when you made that request, right?" I said.

She nodded her head in agreement and we both chuckled.

The twinkle in her eye returned and our laughter reminded me of all the grand adventures we had shared together over the past 20 years. Her introducing me to the study of feng shui back in 1987, when everyone else thought it was "woo-woo" stuff.  All the spiritual work we've learned and the different healing modalities we've tried––that could be a whole story itself.

Oh yes, I knew what she was talking about. That's what good friends are all about––standing next to you, holding your hand when all the world thinks you're a little nuts.

The next 24 hours were very hard for me. Realizing that my soul sister was choosing not to remain in her cancer-ridden body was almost too much for my soul to bear, yet I knew it was the best thing for my beloved friend to do.

I knew I had very little time left and I needed her to tell me how she was going to signal me when she crossed over.  "Will you come back as a red light,or the rainbow colors that spread all over the room from the crystal balls that feng shui practitioners use?"

She tried to speak, but her mouth wouldn't let her say the words. The dreaded morphine was doing its work on her, keeping the pain at bay, but not allowing her body to function in the ways it did before the medication took hold.

That day the tears flowed and flowed. My soul was in so much pain. It was all I could do to keep from running away, away from the lifeless body that used to be my wonderful friend––a friend that was so full of joy and laughter. Where had she gone? She was fading into another world, another realm of existence right in front of my eyes.

How could I handle one more loss? My own mother had just passed away a few months before and I hadn't had a chance to really mourn her loss. Now my best friend's life was fading right before me.  This was too much for me to bear.  I gave Kaye a kiss, knowing this would be the last time I would ever see her alive and walked out of the room with uncontrollable sadness in my heart and I continued to weep.

Her son, Darrell, was flying in from Portland to see his mother for one last time. *My prayer was that Kaye would stick around long enough so they could say their goodbyes. Darrell arrived around 10 p.m. and Kaye was barely holding on. He turned the light on in her hospital room and when she saw him, her eyes lit up!

She wasn't able to talk, but her lips smacked, which signaled Darrell to lean down and give her a kiss. Darrell stayed and talked to his mom, stroking her hair in a loving gesture, as Kaye faded in and out of consciousness.  "Mom do you want me to stay with you, or do you want me to go?" Darrell asked.

"I want you to go," she whispered.

Darrell said, "I love you, Mom," and gave her what, he too knew, would be his final kiss and then walked out of the room.

From all the years of our friendship, Kaye knows I'm not an early riser and neither is she. On Thursday morning, I woke at 5:15 a.m. with such a peaceful feeling flowing through my body. I knew my friend had passed in the night. I laid in bed contemplating getting up or staying snuggled in my bed for another hour or so.

At 5:30 a.m. the sound of the phone ringing shattered the quietness of the night. It was her son Darrell. "My Mom passed away at 5 a.m." he said.

"I knew she'd passed. I could fee it," I said. "She's at peace. Did you stay with her all night?" I asked.

"No, she wanted me to leave. She wanted to leave this world on her own terms," he said.

"I know, she told everyone that she was tired and just wanted to sleep," I said. "She didn't want our heart strings holding her back, and when we are with her, it doesn't let her make her own decision."

Tears of sadness and joy welled up in my eyes, at the joy of knowing that my friend was out of pain and the sadness in my heart that I would never have another amazing earthly adventure with my beloved friend. 

Even though it was 5:30 in the morning, I knew Kaye's friend Carol Lyn, who had also been helping her, would want to know, so I called her and told her the news.

"You know I usually wake up at 4 a.m." Carol Lyn told me, "and for some reason this morning I woke at 5 a.m. I had such a peaceful feeling around me. I knew Kaye had passed in the night."

"Isn't it amazing that we both knew," I said.

"That's our girl, saying her goodbyes," Carol Lyn said.

I got dressed and went over to the hospital to say my final goodbyes. I stroked my friend's hair, anointed her with some essential oils and said, "Farewell dear friend, have a wonderful journey into your next life. I'll be talking to you soon."

Then Darrell and I walked out of the hospital still trying to console each other's grief. We spent the whole day together trying to settle Kaye's affairs and make arrangements for her cremation.

I got home around 9 p.m. that night, exhausted from the emotional roller coaster of the day's events. I fell into a deep sleep around 11 p.m. with the hopes of sleeping until 7 a.m. to let my body and soul do some mending. 

Low and behold around 5 a.m., I heard a lot of chatter in my head, and Kaye's face was fading in and out of my dreams. She was trying very hard to get my attention. I could hear her speak a few words clearly and then it was as if the audio turned off. I kept saying, "I can hear some, but not all, of what you're trying to say to me. Try again."

I got out of my warm bed and went to the computer to write down what the angels in heaven had told her and this is what they shared.

A beautiful light went out today when Kaye B. Martens passed away on July 12, 2007 at 5 a.m.

Kaye was prominently know as "Feng Shui Kaye" to her friends and feng shui clients. It was her quest in this world to make it a better place to live. She empowered people with her vast knowledge of the Feng Shui culture and made their homes and businesses a much richer place to be. She touched the hearts and souls of so many, with her infectious laughter, her childlike wonder for life and her selfless, amazing compassion for others.

Those who knew Kaye will always remember her beautiful radiant smile, her witty sense of humor, and her extraordinary pursuit of knowledge. Please take a moment to say a prayer thanking the universe for allowing us to share a moment in the life of such a wonderful spirited woman, Kaye B. Martens, a lady who had such a beautiful soul.

I knew the channeling was definitely from Kaye and her guidance because the words didn't sound like the way I talk at all.

Kaye's death hit me hard. I  was emotionally spent and carrying on a conversation with anyone was almost impossible. Yet, silly me, I continued to answer the phone from friends inquiring about Kaye.

One of the phone calls was from a reporter, Steve Hart, at our local newspaper: "I'd like to do an article on Kaye Martens. Could you tell me about her?"

"Could I talk to you on another day? I'm really exhausted," I said.

"Sure," Steve replied, "I wanted to run the article for tomorrow's edition."

At that moment, I knew if I didn't muster up the energy to tell him about Kaye, this article was never going to happen. I began to tell him she had been in Santa Rosa a good deal of her life, she had gone to grammar school here and she still was good friends with several of those ladies.

"I understand that she and her husband owned Fourth Street Franks," he said.

"That was her husband's dream, not her's," I replied, "Let her have her day of glory and focus on her being a Feng Shui practitioner, something that was very near and dear to her heart."

"Okay, tell me about that," Steve said.

"Well she started studying feng shui back in 1987, when no one knew what it was all about. She heard Katherine Metz talk about it on the radio and it really piqued her interest. She studied with Katherine's teacher, Grand Master Professor Lin," I said.

"I've been Kaye's friend for over 20 years and I'm a psychic and she came to me the day after her death and channeled something to me. Let me send it to you and use as much of it as you'd like. It really tells a lot about my friend."

Steve said, "That'll be great. Here's my email address."

Even though I was feeling very crummy, I had to giggle at the events that were falling in place now.  This is why Kaye woke me up at 5 a.m. the morning after her death, she knew I'd need the information she channeled to me.

On Sunday morning my husband handed me the article that Steve Hart had written in the Press Democrat about Kaye and it said everything I had told him.

After reading the article, I giggled, "Kaye you did yourself well girl. You had a great article written about yourself.  You must have pulled some major strings upstairs for Steve to write almost the exact words you channeled to me."

My husband Eddie said, "I'm taking all phone privileges away from you today, you slept 14 hours last night. You were so warm I couldn't sleep near you. With all that sleep, you still look exhausted."

"I am exhausted. I couldn't remember the last time I slept 14 hours straight. It must have been when I was in grammar school. I'm so tired I don't want to make any decisions today. Just take me somewhere I don't have to answer to anyone."

"I'm taking you to the movies. It's the only place I know you can't get phone calls. The phone has been glued to your ear for an entire week."

"You'll get no arguments from me," I agreed.

It felt good to laugh at a silly picture and not be responsible for anything. It gave me a sense of what I used to be like, the girl who loved life and people, who took great delight in spreading joy. That's who I was just a week ago. Where had that part of me disappeared to?

Several days later, I began seeking out friends who were healers to put me back together. My first appointment was for a massage. Then I went to a friend who does hypnosis and afterward to an acupuncturist.

It truly amazes me how our bodies take the brunt of the emotions of grief, anger and sadness and store it away deep into our muscles, later creating muscles that are so tight you can barely move your neck. In my case, it was to get out of the grief that was paralyzing me. Losing three people that were close to me in four months was just too much for me to handle.

First there was Gene, my racing buddy, who passed, then my mom, who passed March 2007, then my best friend who passed in July 2007. No wonder the tears wouldn't stop flowing!  Ineeded help to get out of the grief that had been consuming me for far too long.

It is my belief that you can grieve and miss someone, but it doesn't have to paralyze you in the process. So if you ever find yourself overwhelmed, seek out someone who can help you, such as an acupuncturist, a chiropractor, a massage therapist or a hypnotherapist or someone who works with the subconscious mind. They can help you shift from the feeling of helplessness to feeling normal again in a short amount of time. I was able to accomplish this in a matter of four weeks, so it's well worth the effort.

I received a call from Carol Lyn. "Jan, I woke up this morning and heard a lion roar in my head––really! I heard a lion and wondered where it came from. Then I took my dog for a walk and heard it again. I knew it was Kaye, but I didn't understand."

I chuckled and said, "When Kaye was in the hospital, her student and friend, Melissa, asked Kaye if she had her tiger necklace with her."

Kaye said, "No."

Melissa brought Kaye a necklace with a tiger, which Kay enthusiastically grabbed and immediately put around her neck. Later, she moved it right beside her on the hospital bed. The necklace was for protection in the Feng Shui culture.

Carol Lyn said, "I knew it was Kaye and the more I think about it, it wasn't a lion's roar, it was a tiger's. Well that's our Kaye for you!"

"She's letting you know she's around," I said. "You know I asked her how she'd let me know when she was on the other side, and because the morphine kept her from speaking clearly, I suggested that she come back as a red light. You know red is very powerful in the Feng Shui culture and that would be perfect for her."

"She'll do it" Carol Lyn said, "I know she'll do that for you."

"I hope so. I'd like to know she's around. Having someone who's spiritual on the other side is going to be interesting. She doesn't have to break through new territory since she already believes. I'm looking forward to it!"

Days passed and I got another call from Carol Lyn, "Jan you're never going to believe this! You and I know that our businesses suffered while we were taking care of Kaye. Well, let me tell you what she's done to help me out.  I had a client who owed me money for over a year. I just got the check for $2,000! And, then I got a refund from a refinance I did on my house some time ago. I know I it was Kaye's influence. How else would I have gotten it!"

"I'll have to tell Kaye to send some good fortune my way. I sure could use it right now," I said.

"I'm sure she'll help you out since you two were such great friends."

"I'm counting on it," I said.

Life got very busy and I put the conversation I had with Carol Lyn in the back of my mind and tried to catch up on life.

Several days later I was walking down my hall and looked at the walls in my kitchen that are painted white––they were glowing with a red hue.

At first I questioned where in the world this red reflection could come from. Then a second later, I said, "Hello my friend, thank you for letting me know you're okay."

"I remember your last words to me about stepping past my fears and really living life, making my dreams a reality and not just thinking wishfully. Well dear friend, I'm doing my best to make it happen. 

"I miss you so much." 

I walked out into my garage to get the mail, came back in and the red hue that had been so bright on the walls just moments ago, was now just a faded memory.

 


 

  

Jan Kucker 

a psychic who shows YOU the art of empowering your heart & soul  

    Reconnect with your loved ones who have passed beyond this world.

Heal your sorrowful heart.  I can help.

 

Give me a call at:

707.579.4809   Land line - receives texting

Email me at:  wingsofangels@JanKucker.com